2 posts tagged “hyde park”
Finally got some video up. It's so un-awesome I had to narrate it to give you even the slightest chance of understanding what is going on. Sorry.
It's been sensory overload so -inspired by the awesomeness of twitter- I am just going to give little headings and comments... Maybe a few photos that don't belong to me.
There will be more photos and video actually created by me in the next few days. We're taking this blog offroad and going non-linear! Wooooo!
First Impression
London is exactly what you expect it to look like. That sounds facetious but it's not. No where else is exactly what you expect it to be like... In fact it is so familiar it looks fake. Like someone has built a theme-park replica of London in the style of Old Sydney Town, MOTAT, etc.
But I think I get this 'mini' impression because the buildings that are nineteenth century or earlier have slightly smaller door and window dimensions because people were more hobbit size back then. It's a little bit creepy but awesome.
On Having Foreign Flatmates
Heidi lives with a veritable Benetton ad of different nationalities and she has a theory behind it which I like. That crap about not wanting to be a kiwi who goes to London and only hangs out with other kiwis is actually more cliched that the kiwi that goes to London and does hang out with other kiwis.
But it's unavoidable.
Here's why. Think of your home town. Your social group is filled with friends you have had since primary/high school. When was the last time you inducted a new member? A decade ago? Exactly.
So why would Londoners be any different? What in hell would they want with a bunch of Antipodeans who view their hometown as a tourist attraction? The things they want to do are the things you want to do in your home town. Hang out with relatives, replenish your groceries, sleep in, play PS3, gossip about the slut from high school who is divorced and living in a trailer with three kids.
Now, kiwis and other internationals actually want a new social group and want to engage with the city in a more intense way.
You see? It's literally impossible to insert yourself into a foreign culture and completely deny your upbringing. So if I hear one more kiwi/australian say they don't want to hang out with other kiwi/australians I am going to stab them.
Which brings me to:
Stabbing
There's actually heaps more stabbings than get reported internationally. And it's never too soon to make jokes about it. Usually in the context of going somewhere for a drink. Example: "where is the cheapest place to get a drink around here without getting stabbed?"
Hyde Park
As mentioned on facebook, no Victorian prostitutes waiting to get murdered which was a little disappointing.
The first fifteen squirrels weren't disappointing, either. But its on about your sixteenth squirrel sighting when you realise that you haven't just been incredible fortunate in seeing so many squirrels... The park is literally overrun with the fuckers and it was probably squirrel armies not Jack The Ripper that killed all those prostitutes.
And the Diana memorial fountain really is absolute rubbish. It's clearly designed by someone who found her annoying and pointless. Someone like me. Or, oddly enough, Germain Greer.
Heidi's Magical Adventure
She begged me not to talk to Shashma about this hilarious incident so I am going to blog about it instead.
Heidi met us after work (2:30pm) at Liverpool Station -which is mere metres from her workplace- and then spenty forty minutes getting us extremely lost on the way to a pub that was literally down the road.
During this magical adventure through the warehouses of Shoreditch we passed her work. Twice.
Not content with ruining our afternoon plans, she then invited us to dinner in Brick Lane which meant standing up Shashma.
All in all, a truly excellent afternoon and many thanks must go to Ms Regan
Brick Lane
Awesome. At least my food was... Heidi's wasn't as great. But that's the luck of the draw.
Customs
Passing customs at Heathrow for the first time as a permanent resident who has never been here before was easier than getting the Heathrow Express train.
I was literally asked more questions and given a more thorough credentials check waiting to board the train than I was as I entered the country.
And think about it... An Australian passport that was issued with a family visa in Wellington because of a gay de facto relationship with a kiwi travelling on an Irish passport who has never been to Ireland in his life.
If that's not some terrorist shit then I don't know what is.
iPhones
Sigh. Not yet as James's HSBC card hasn't been activated. This is because you can't ask for or set a pin in a branch. HSBC will instead send a letter to itself (at your local branch) that it will then destroy after two days if you haven't claimed it.
Then it will send itself another letter.
This is my bureaucratic nightmare. When we asked if we could just choose our own pin instead the woman behind the counter looked at us as if we just asked if she had any spare cats we could rape.
Fosters
I'll be damned. It wasn't just the buzz at the New Orleans Jazz Festival. The export shit really is drinkable. That's several countries worth of proof now.
Not that I drink it. It just comes free with a sandwich around the corner where I am staying so we've had it a bit.
Instead, we're currently having a love affair with cider over ice. Yep.... roll on more cliches!
Tom's drinks
This was last night in Westminster. You know you're not in kansas anymore when the two block walk from the tube stop to the delightful old english pub walks you past numerous policemen with machine guns and half million dollar fortified SUV convoys roar past you down tiny cobblestone streets.
It's creepy because you know that they are the kinds of cars that literally cannot stop if you are in the way and will mow you down rather than risk an abduction/assassination of whatever deposed/exiled African president is behind the black windows.
All in all it was an awesome night.
Our Accommodation
We're vacating our hotel room this morning on our way to Abbie and Tan's place.
Now listen. Very. Carefully.
Anyone wanting to holiday in London needs to hit me and James up for details about this place. Sixty nine quid. Own bathroom. Free internet. Reasonable size room (we have 3 chairs, coffee table, desk, cupboard, etc) and it's metres from a tube stop.
Some things are walkable, others aren't. But I don't think you'll find better in Zone 2 (it's on the cusp on Zone 1).
Peace!
